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Top ten signs you work for IBM by David Letterman

10 IBM You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their process.
9 IBM You get all excited when it's Saturday so you can wear shorts to work.
8 IBM You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as deliverables.
7 IBM You find you really need Freelance to explain what you do for a living.
6 IBM You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.
5 IBM You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a project" are acceptable English phrases.
4 IBM You know the people at faraway hotels better than your next-door neighbors.
3 IBM You ask your friends to "think outside the box" when making Friday night plans.
2 IBM You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.
  And, the number one sign you work for IBM...
1 IBM You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock.

Update: This seems to be old news.

Posted by on 16 October 2007 | Comments (1) | categories: After hours


  1. posted by John Liu on Saturday 25 October 2008 AD:
    Here is another one, You want to sametime your daughter to tell her to practice piano when you work at home.