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Anger


When I grew up, there was a time where I got very angry. Not angry on someone or something specific. Angry with the world. My parents told me, that this was a clear sign of my puberty kicking in full swing. They told me, that I'll become rebellious and will try to stem against the mainstream. Of course I dismissed that as an ol' folks lecture.... and became rebellious. I drove anything that had two wheels and an engine (finally a fast motorbike) and my leather suite became my second skin. As an IBM intern I was wearing espadrilles explaining the customers it is to avoid static electricity.
Later I learned, that this anger would cede once adulthood has been achieved. So now, 25 years later, I have to ask myself: did I miss it? I'm perceived as very calm, patient, listening, but under the hood that anger never stopped boiling.Rather than fading away the anger became more specific, sharper. I'm angry when I encounter ignorance. I'm angry when I see suffering. And I'm angry if I don't achieve for myself what I wanted (stupid little things like: getting up earlier, working out more or eating more healthy). So do I have to conclude: I didn't grow up?
I see my anger both as a thread and as a source of power. What concerns me: how can I manage it? So I asked the question to the universe and it answered with a book by Thich Nhat Hanh.
Let us see where it goes.

Posted by on 10 December 2003 | Comments (3) | categories: After hours

Comments

  1. posted by Joe Litton on Sunday 28 December 2003 AD:
    Thich Nhat Hanh's work has helped bring me much more peace. I have his books "Peace Is Every Step", "Living Buddha, Living Christ", and his 2-tape series "The Art of Mindful Living". I was not aware of his book on anger, and will definitely have a look! Thanks for the post.

    Cheers,
    Joe
  2. posted by jonvon on Saturday 10 January 2004 AD:
    interesting blog stephan! i hadn't seen this one before.

    growing up i had a lot of anger as well. i think for me i had a realization one night, i blew up at my daughter. she was only 1 at the time and didn't deserve it. it was through intense anguish and a serious realization at the destructive force that anger can have that i began to change. i've made some huge strides since then but only because of that very painful moment, which caused me to reflect for a long time afterward.

    i guess most of the time real change doesn't occur until whatever it is becomes very painful. like, so many people have to die at an intersection before they put in a traffic light. sometimes it is only an intensely painful moment that makes you really see it for what it really is.
  3. posted by hanhs on Monday 12 March 2007 AD:
    Emoticon rolleyes.gif Emoticon shocked.gif Emoticon shocked.gif Emoticon kiss.gif Emoticon cheesy.gif